Everywhere you turn, the message is the same: know yourself completely, illuminate every dark corner of your unconscious, polish your psyche into a perfectly functioning machine, cut off all transgenerational trauma, pass on nothing negative, never hurt anyone under any circumstances, have no dysfunctional dynamics in your relationship, never raise your voice at your children, parent with constant attunement but also make time for yourself, dont play games, always be assertive, shed all your neuroses, and so on, and so on.
An ocean of nevers, a forest of always. Unrealistic offshoots of a deeply misunderstood psychology.
In this talk, these topics will be pulled back onto the ground of reality especially through the lived experience and expectation systems of overburdened parenting and intimate relationships. We will explore them through key concepts such as: intensive parenting, overparenting, mindful underparenting, alloparenting, overprotection, parental burnout, the superego paradox, the taking quadrant, and relationship schemas.



























