Meditate, don't control! - When you don't want to make the world safe, but learn to be (alone) in it

Most people dont want to wake up, they want a free, suffering-free identity, a self. Spirituality is often not a search for freedom, but a subtle self-defense. I meditate, I optimize, I observe myself, I biohack myself. But what if that means we dont experience, but continue to manage?
Buddhism is not radical because you can calm yourself with meditation, but because it questions the one you want to calm. Meditation is sometimes destabilizing, gradually making the previous self-structure disappear and does not immediately provide a means of integration in its place. If we take the risk, it makes us more real, less defensive, less self-centered, and teaches us to be free.